robroyston church of scotland

Using the Internet Safely and with Integrity

Whenever you walk down the high street, pick up a magazine, look on the television or watch a music video, the overt sexualisation is there for all to see. It seems that no-one is exempt from the sexual pressures our culture brings to bear. According to Frank Furedi, professor of sociology at Kent University, "The whole of society is hypersexualised – sex becomes the common currency through which adults make their way in the world and continually send a signal to children that sex is all that matters."1 For the internet generation, pornography and other objectionable images and media are now only a click away. This page is intended for those seeking help on how to use the internet safely and with integrity – to protect themselves and their families.

The Lure of Internet Pornography

The continual bombardment by sexual imagery in our daily lives combined with the anonimity, affordability and accessibility of the Internet means that for many people the temptation to use internet pornography is difficult to resist. According to a survey of sex therapists conducted for the BBC, the number of men suffering from sex addiction is on the increase and the obsesive use of internet pornography is now the most common form of the condition.2 The counselling service Relate has also seen a "huge increase" in people who say compulsive sexual behaviour is straining their relationship.3 In the most extreme cases people can lose their jobs or their partners because of their obsession, spending several hours every day looking at porn online.

Young People and the Internet

Children and teenagers are not immune from the dangers of the Internet. In fact, the Channel 4 programme The Sex Education Show versus Pornography revealed:4 90% of children view pornography accidently (UK Council for Child Internet Safety) Two thirds of 13-17 year olds have viewed pornography The average teen watches 90 minutes of porn a week A third of teens are learning about sex from pornography Many young people are watching 'extreme' pornography

One sixteen year-old boy spoke to the BBC about his addiction to internet pornography. He said: "It almost lodges itself into your mind, like a parasite sucking away the rest of your inner life and you kind of use it to answer everything and anything. It's a drug."5
 

Safe Surfing with Integrity

If you're a parent who has concerns about what your children or teenagers could be exposed to online but you're not sure what you can do about it then Covenant Eyes has produced a very helpful guide which is available in Adobe PDF format. Click on the link to download Parenting the Internet Generation.

For individuals who would like some help to stop watching internet pornography or parents who would like to ensure their children are using the internet responsibly, there are two different types of software available that you may find helpful – filtering and accountability – and which to use depends very much upon the individuals concerned.

Content Filtering Software

If you're a parent with young children and you want to make sure they don't accidently stumble onto porn sites then you might consider installing content-control or web filtering software. These programs simply attempt to block the bad stuff. There are many different web filtering programs available, both free and to purchase. Most of them do their job pretty well but the free versions offer limited functionality and fine-tuning options. You might find it very frustrating when apparently harmless sites are blocked or if you're subject to the same restrictions as your youngest child – so it's worth doing your research first. Please be aware, however, that no web-filtering solution can be guaranteed fail-safe. Filtering software is probably the best option for parents with young children but if you have older children you should consider using accountability software instead. There are many content-filtering programs out there and it can be difficult to sort out the wheat from the chaff, so for an independent comparative review of available products click here.

Accountability Software

Internet accountability software differs from filtering software in that it doesn’t block any websites. Instead, it monitors all the sites you visit and sends a report to an accountability partner. Rather that blocking inappropriate content, accountability software encourages people to make responsible choices about what they view online – with the added incentive that their accountability partner or parent will be able to see what questionable sites have been visited and challenge them accordingly. It therefore gives people the freedom to choose what they want to view and at the same time removes the anonimity afforded by the Internet. Accountability software may well be the best option for parents with older children or teenagers, or for individuals who struggle with viewing porn but need that little bit extra help to remove the temptation. If you have a particular struggle with porn and accountability doesn't provide enough of an incentive then its probably best to have a friend or partner install a content-filter instead.

As with content-filtering programs there are both free and pay per versions available. The free programs work reasonably well but they do have some holes that the computer-savvy teen or the dedicated porn user can exploit to relatively easily bypass the software. We highly recommed the pay per accountability software from Covenant Eyes, but you may also like to try X3 watch which is available in both pay per and free versions. Both companies also offer accountability apps for mobile phones including the i-phoneTM to help ensure that Internet integrity is maintained at all times.

Pastoral Support

If you would like pastoral support for this or any other issue then please e-mail minister@robroystonchurch.org.uk.
 

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